I had Breakfast at Tiffany's once. It's a diner on Route 17. The food wasn't so good. Not worth a movie...

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing. Kissing a lot! I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." - Audrey Hepburn

Some people may feel that it is easier to believe in nothing than it is to believe in something. I think that's because when you believe in something - another person, God, love, fate - it can let you down. If that something let's you down once it's almost as if you never trust that thing again. Or worse: when you finally trust it again, it lets you down once more. One of the hardest things to handle, I think, is to believe in something and have it prove you wrong.

There have been some who have believed in me and I have let them down. I have believed in my body and it has let me down. My loved ones believed in chemicals and surgeries and radiation and those things have let them down. It's tough for them to put their faith back into any of those things. Shit, it's tough for me to trust my body to get me up a flight of stairs, not to mention, defeat an infamous silent assasin. I lose nothing, however, by putting belief back into myself. At worst, it lets me down again. In that case I'm no worse off than I would be already. How much worse off would I be, I ask you to ponder, if I believed in nothing, and had nothing upon which to lean when I became tired from the constant fight? So I choose to believe in me again, because I cannot believe that a life without purpose is worth living.

So I have said, let us not believe in statistics, yet let us not be nihilists either. I do not know what it is that you believe in, nor will I try and manifest some universal belief system that can answer all your questions. I will only tell you to do this: find something to believe in and then really believe in it. You have to leave yourself open to be hurt. Allow that something that you choose to possibly let you down, because that means that you truly believe in it. And that belief in something is the only something for which living is worth. It's not supposed to make sense. It's not right because it makes sense, it's just right. Believe in something. Find something for which you will die for and then break your neck trying to pull it off. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said "A man who won't die for something is not fit to live."

This is my best Audrey Hepburn impersonation:
I believe in life. I believe in doing what makes you happy for no other reason than that it makes you happy. I believe in those who believe in me. I agree with Bertrand Russell that "the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." And I believe it again when John Lennon said it to much more acclaim that "time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted." I believe in smiling. I believe in Bunny. I believe that either you beat something or you die trying to beat it, but that you can never give up.

But how do you believe in something without any proof? How can one believe in something when every ounce of evidence has proven the contrary? How can I, or anyone, logically believe that my situation will improve rather than diminish after one realizes the complete history of the manner in which my disease has progressed?

In the same way that the comedic hero Don Quixote forced a group of men he met on his travels to swear by the beauty of Dulcinea del Toboso or else die where they stood. They responded to Don Quixote that if he could only provide one picture - some bit of proof - of Dulcinea's beauty, that they would gladly genuflect before the knight-errant and proclaim Dulcinea del Toboso the most beautiful woman in the world. Don Quixote, however, did not except this answer and he replied to these men:
"If I were to show her to you," replied Don Quixote, "what merit would you have in confessing a truth so manifest? The essential point is that without seeing her you must believe, confess, affirm, swear, and defend it..." - Miguel de Cervantes "Don Quixote" Book I, Chapter IV
Something that has been proven to exist or has been known to exist is not a belief; it is a fact. A belief, however, is defined as a confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to proof. Thus, having proof of something, either through sight or identifieable experimentation and then believing in it is not to have a belief. That is logically reasoning from true premises to a conclusion. To believe in something without significant substantial cause, without concrete proof, that is to have a belief. To be cliche: seeing is not believing; believing is seeing.

The 19th Century philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer developed a philosophy with the concept of the "will to live" as the emphasis. Schopenhauer believed that every being in the universe, even the universe itself - every organism, social construction, even some non-living things - is driven by a primordial will to live. It was Schopenhauer's belief that the will to live was the most fundamental aspect of reality, even more fundamental than actually being.

I cannot disagree, but I know that there are others who can. I know that there are others who believe that the most fundamental aspect of being is the acquisition of power - this was Nietzsche. I know that there are others who believe that the most fundamental aspect of being is self-sacrifice - this was Jesus Christ. More often today most of us exist closer to the middle of these two unenviable roads. Some think the fundamental aspect of being is having perfect hair. Others belief that it is ensuring that others have perfect hair. Some believe that status, salary, or celebrity is the essence of being. Others belief that art, metaphysics, and ethics are the pursuits of the soul. What are all of these pursuits except the ultimate tilting at windmills? Power, money, self-sacrifice, hair, status, celebrity, art, and philosophy disappear the moment before our valiant lances plunge through them. And we end up face in the dirt, ass in the air. Please do not misunderstand, I'm not calling everyone to a monastic life; rather, I'm just hoping that these magical things capable of disappearing do not convince you that they are the essence of reality. If you believe that they are, they will leave you when you need them most.

Believe in something real and tangible and never fail to use it as your guiding light, as your North Star. Remember seeing is not believing, believing is seeing. Make the world what you want it to be by looking at it the way you choose. I'm afraid of letting down the people that believe in me. We cannot control what happens. I can only give you the promise of my belief. I believe that I will be all right, and in the end, this belief is the resolve that allows me to roll out of bed in the mornings.

Miguel de Cervantes was a wise man:
I've been a soldier and a slave. I've seen my comrades fall in battle or die more slowly under the lash in Africa. I've held them in my arms at the final moment. these were men who saw life as it is, yet they died despairing. No glory, no brave last words, only their eyes, filled with confusion, questioning "Why?" I don't think they were wondering why they were dying, but why they had ever lived. When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? To surrender dreams -- this may be madness; to seek treasure where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness! But maddest of all -- to see life as it is and not as it should be.

Be a little crazy... Believe.